Popular waterfowl Oliver the Duck died this past week. Oliver, who was well known at local schools and senior homes, was twenty-three.
Gertrude Kessler, who raised Oliver from an egg, said he lived a fuller life than most humans. "Crazy, how attached you get. That boy was my family. You know they don't have a sphincter muscle where it counts, so they can't be potty trained. Dear old thing would waddle up to me for his pre-dinner squeezing."
Kessler, a born problem-solver, devised a compression method that involved a beach towel and a special constrictor knot. This effectively emptied the duck and reduced accidents during dinner. "My proper table was set with bone china, sterling silver, white linen, and two or three ducks."
Kessler taught Oliver to hold a crayon in his beak and draw. He had several cartoons that ran in a Siberian newspaper and one local art exhibit that garnered national media attention.
"I think what I'd like to hear when I pass through the pearly gates is: Squeeze your duck and please be seated at the table."
Clayville Comments...
Oliver had a sister named Olive, who had baby ducks Dora, Ducky, and Dicky. One of the three escaped and it was hard to tell them apart. But they think it was Dicky, due to the black spot on his hindquarters.
Anyways, old man Gonzy that was always hungry for fresh bird, shot and kilt Dicky. You could smell that greesy duck cooking on his barbeque for miles.
Thank heaven Gertrude's eyes are too blind to read this. She never got to hold Dicky like she did Oliver.
1 comment:
Oliver had a sister named Olive, who had baby ducks Dora, Ducky, and Dicky. One of the three escaped and it was hard to tell them apart. But they think it was Dicky, due to the black spot on his hindquarters.
Anyways, old man Gonzy that was always hungry for fresh bird, shot and kilt Dicky. You could smell that greesy duck cooking on his barbeque for miles.
Thank heaven Gertrude's eyes are too blind to read this. She never got to hold Dicky like she did Oliver.
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