Twelve-year-old Tommy Doup and his younger brother, nine-year-old Bert, didn't know they were breaking a federal law on Friday, but senior citizen Wayne Hillier did.
"I saw the boys right off Clayville Crossing. My first concern was their safety. Kids shouldn't play near the railroad tracks. It's a good way to get torn up."
The Doup brothers had laid down a row of pennies on the track for the train to flatten. "Other kids do it all the time. Then that old weirdo came over and grabbed at us with his long fingernails. I got a big scratch on my arm."
Hillier said, "I was looking out for the kids, and the pennies. Do you know it is a federal offense to destroy U.S. currency? No? Seems like nobody enforces any law these days."
The younger Doup tried to fend off Hillier using Karate. Hillier said, "It was like trying to rescue an animal that has been hit by a car. It's the last time I try to teach the rats a lesson."
2 comments:
Between the morning hours of 8 and 10 is when Wayne's fetish for trying on freaky glasses kicks in. The postman watched Wayne try on his whole genuine international spec collection one day while he made sure that Wayne's social security check wasn't in his mailbag. Don't look straight into his eyes though. Some people say they have hypnotic power.
Wayne is a paranoid panty that worships money. I hear he's got a stash of cash behind some bricks in his basement. Who's with me to go steal it?
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