Reminder for all Clayville residents and their guests...
This weekend the Goodyear Blimp will pass over the city. Residents are asked to refrain from shooting at it.
Reuben Cotter has piloted the blimp for over ten years. "Some people think because it's up in the air like that, that there aren't people inside. Nimrods fire guns at the blimp, shoot fireworks and model rockets at her, and even encourage their children to throw rocks. Sometimes after I land I'm greeted by a crackpot yelling, 'Oh, the humanity.' It gets old."
Cotter said he has had Clayville marked on his map of dangerous fly-zones for several years. "I don't want to incite anyone, but we do catch the most flak from the Clayville area. I plan to empty my black water holding tank over the community pool if the residents give me any trouble."
Last year Police Sergeant Jeffrey Buys reported eight car wrecks. "People hop in the car and chase the blimp. They get really torked out of shape when that thing is in the sky. Some make a real day out of it, tossing in a beer cooler and bottle rockets. I guess it's good practice." Buys also said that, should Cotter empty his toilet water over the community pool, he'd have hell to pay. "There are plenty of places in Clayville to dump, places where it wouldn't matter, but the community pool, well that's a soft target as far as I'm concerned. Maybe I'll take a shot at the thing myself--I'm kidding."
Clayville Comments...
The choice is clear, Clayville. Resist the thrill of targeting the blimp in your cross hairs. OK, target it in your cross hairs. Drink a beer. Then drink another. But don't shoot. And for Christ sake, don't drive.
Instead, walk down the street to the pool and jump in. Remember, this summer's percentage of urine content (the result of leaky toddler pull-ups and teenagers on dope) has been greatly reduced due to the thorough cleaning process instituted by new management.
But a blimp dump would present a real problem.
Bob Alviral, Pool Administrator
Bebe Alviral, Certified Splash Therapist
1 comment:
The choice is clear, Clayville. Resist the thrill of targeting the blimp in your cross hairs. OK, target it in your cross hairs. Drink a beer. Then drink another. But don't shoot. And for Christ sake, don't drive.
Instead, walk down the street to the pool and jump in. Remember, this summer's percentage of urine content (the result of leaky toddler pull-ups and teenagers on dope) has been greatly reduced due to the thorough cleaning process instituted by new management.
But a blimp dump would present a real problem.
Bob Alviral, Pool Administrator
Bebe Alviral, Certified Splash Therapist
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