Gary Tipton finally said to hell with selecting a new cell phone and complicated plan.
"I went to the store and said I wanted to upgrade my phone because I couldn't get service anywhere on the damn thing. This pasty toad tells me my phone is analog, and that analog is being phased out. I was in that store for an hour. That was when it hit me. I need a drink."
Tipton returned home without a new phone. "This is the prototype," he said holding up a broken cell phone duct-taped to a flask. "I call it the Flask Phone, made to fit in your back pocket. I already got a good bit invested in it." Tipton demonstrated the drinking feature of the phone.
"After I got back from the phone store I had myself a couple of stiff ones. Then I took that damn phone and smashed it on the sidewalk. It was like that TV commercial. I stood there with my flask in one hand and the cell phone on ground. You got your cell phone in my peanut butter." Tipton plans on letting the techheads do the fine tuning.
"I figure you gotta give on size one way or another. You want more booze or more phone? The choice is yours. You get bad news, good news? Unscrew the top and drown your sorrows or celebrate."
A full line of Flask Phones(TM) is scheduled to hit stores early this fall, pending FCC approval.
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