Clayville Police Department to Offer Incentives
Responding to a community call for action, Police Sergeant Jeffrey Buys has initiated the Eyes, Ears, & Balls program, calling on concerned citizens to patrol their neighborhoods.
After passing an oral exam, applicants will be issued a paintball gun and a 100-round pod of paintballs filled with dye. The dye, similar to that used in exploding dye-packs by banks, is extremely difficult to wash off clothing, bricks, and common house-pets.
Buys also has a sister-program in the works for less-mobile citizens: Crooks-4-Beer. "You hand us a bad guy, we'll hand you a cold one." The program, while still in its infancy, has netted at least one criminal. "In theory," Buys said, "you could sit on your porch all day long and have the police deliver ice-cold beer. That's a theory I think most people can live with."
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